Written by Kyuri Bea
Zacharias Xanthoudakis, 19, a creative student, has been in a long-distance relationship with a partner who lives in Japan since last October.
“It’s quite difficult to feel a sense of security when your partner is on the other side of the world. For me, security comes from trusting both myself and her. The thoughts we share only between us and the experiences we’ve had together reinforce the special bond we have. That is what gives me hope and a sense of stability.
Even when we are physically apart, certain rituals make me feel emotionally close to her. Cooking, listening to the music she introduced me to, going through the gifts we exchanged, and revisiting memories through photos all help me feel connected. Consuming Japanese food or engaging with gothic or Japanese media also reminds me of her presence in my life.
For the outfit, I chose a leather jacket and a scarf, both of which we bought together while vintage shopping. I also wear a Nirvana T-shirt, as we went to a tribute concert together as one of our first outings, and a unique, one-of-a-kind jumper that I got with her at a Zine Festival in Nottingham. This colourful and unconventional jumper makes me feel emotionally connected to her.
When we are together, my style naturally becomes darker and more gothic. She herself embodies that aesthetic, and I find myself matching that energy because I can see that it makes her smile.
Not only that, my outfits tend to feel more open and expressive. When we are apart, however, my style becomes more closed-off and guarded. It is almost a way of protecting the relationship, avoiding any form of presentation that might invite unwanted attention from others.
“If I had to describe my ‘secure love’ outfit in one word, ‘mournful’ would be the best word.”
I also want to describe ‘secure love’ outfit visually, it would be like a full moon breaking through a cloudy night sky in an eerie wood, a quiet light in the darkness. Like a ray of sunlight shining through a rainy and overcast day. My secure love outfit consists of multiple dark layers that create a sense of comfort and protection, finished with a sentimental scarf that holds emotional meaning.”