Don’t bother denying it: we’ve all been there
When watching cartoons growing up, did you ever think to yourself “Huh, they’re kinda sexy?” You’re not alone. While it’s unclear what the purpose of making cartoons attractive is, they were most likely the first steps taken towards your sexual awakening. Let’s take a trip down memory lane, and look at our top nine sexiest cartoons. How many were you into?
Mrs. Incredible aka Elastigirl
If you look up the definition of the word ‘hourglass’ in the dictionary, you will find an image of Helen Parr. Add her hyper-flexibility into the mix and you have every heterosexual man’s fantasy. I don’t know whose idea at Pixar this was, but ask anyone you know and I guarantee that she’ll be at the top of their list too.
The fox from Zootopia
This may not be from your childhood, but you know it’s true. There’s just something about him. He’s got that special something, that je ne sais quoi that just makes you feel giddy inside when he looks at you, albeit through a screen.
Disney’s Robin Hood
Again, I don’t know what it is; perhaps his rugged handsomeness, or his philanthropic spirit. What more could you want? Thinking about it now, it may be that they’re both foxes, which really raises more questions than it answers.
Mr Anderson aka the dad from Inside Out
Pixar had no business making every parental figure in their films sexy. He shouldn’t be, but he is. He looks like he doesn’t think twice about his looks; his bushy moustache rests above his mouth casually, effortlessly. He doesn’t even have to try.
Jessica Rabbit
How could we not include the iconic Jessica. She’s not bad: she was just drawn that way. Of course, she was designed to look like the sexiest cartoon known to man, but it’s not just that which appeals. She was married to Roger Rabbit, someone way below her league. Clearly she goes for personality over looks. We have a chance.
Lola Bunny
Lola Bunny had that bunny-next-door look about her. The perfect mix of cute and sexy, with incredible eyeshadow and lashes to seal the deal. The upcoming reboot for Space Jam has her transformed from her figure-hugging clothes to baggy uniform like her male teammates. Has the cartoon industry finally started to realise that not every female character has to be sexy?
Lola from Shark Tale
This is starting to get absurd, but if you’ve seen this film you know what I’m talking about. She was voiced by Angelina Jolie, for God’s sake. They gave this fish luscious lips and better hair than I will ever have. She also had a scary edge to her, the intimidating factor somehow adding to her appeal.
Every character from Atlantis
With the possible exception of Mole – unless that’s what you’re into – every character in this Disney film was oddly attractive. The film’s protagonist, Milo, had that academic yet adventurous charm about him; our generation’s Indiana Jones. His love interest, Kida, was otherworldly. Cue the bi-panic.
Milo from The Tweenies
He technically isn’t a cartoon, but our boy Milo deserves an honorary mention. I can’t say it’s something I experienced myself, but multiple friends have all professed their childhood attraction to this big, purple man-child. In their defence, it was slim pickings in The Tweenies.
Got any bizarre cartoon crushes? We want to hear about them! Follow us on our social platforms and drop us a line if you want to share. If you need us, we’ll be watching Pixar films back-to-back for reasons completely unrelated to this article.