For performers with a mental illness, the classical music world remains an unwelcoming place. A study from the University of Westminster in 2020 found that musicians are three times more likely to experience depression or anxiety. But one orchestra is trying to change all this.
Me2/ Orchestra is the world’s only orchestra created for people with mental illnesses and those who support them. Their mission is to “create opportunities to educate people about the realities of living with mental illnesses and support those seeking treatment”. 53-year-old Caroline Whiddon, co-founder and executive director of Me2/, explained the orchestra’s mission further: “There is a lot of tradition in classical music which can be great, but does that mean we kick someone to the kerb who needs to do things a little differently?”
My response was to educate myself to figure out how best to support him
Caroline Whiddon
For Whiddon, the inspiration to set up the orchestra came in part from witnessing the treatment of fellow co-founder and husband, Ronald Braunstein, 67, while both working at the Vermont Youth Orchestra in 2010. Braunstein, the musical director and conductor at the time, was struggling to manage his bipolar disorder. “When I met him it was clear his mental health was not great. It took several months before he disclosed to me as a colleague that he had bipolar disorder,” says Whiddon. “My response was to educate myself to figure out how best to support him. Why would we not support him in the same way we would a colleague who had cancer?”
However, this was not an approach shared by her colleagues. “They (other staff members) said things like ‘he shouldn’t be working with kids’ when he’s the sweetest guy on the planet and immensely talented,” says Whiddon. “This was based on sensational stories they see in the media – they hear bipolar and immediately think of violence. I was really shaken to my core by how people around me acted out of fear.”
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Braunstein was eventually fired from his position at the orchestra and Whiddon left her role as Executive Director. Around the same time the pair started dating. “I was confused when I got fired in Vermont, I didn’t think I had done anything wrong,” says Braunstein. “When it finally became clear to me that I was being discriminated against I decided to create a work environment where I would be safe from stigma.”
Instead of letting this discrimination end his career, Braunstein decided to go public with his bipolar. Through Me2/, musicians were made to feel comfortable being open about their mental illness. Whiddon says, “So many people would say some version of ‘me too’ about their own struggles with their mental health or dealing with family members.”
If you can play an instrument and feel comfortable playing in the orchestra we’ve got a spot for you. No auditions and no fees because we didn’t want to deter anyone
Caroline Whiddon
As part of the stigma-free nature of Me2/, there is no joining fee. Instead the orchestra is funded through private donations. “If you can play an instrument and feel comfortable playing in the orchestra we’ve got a spot for you,” says Whiddon. “No auditions and no fees because we didn’t want to deter anyone.”
Me2/ has also built a community within its orchestra, with members developing friendships and meeting regularly outside of performances. “Me2/ frequently receives complimentary tickets for our members to attend concerts by the Boston Symphony Orchestra and other local music groups,” Whiddon says. “These are fun opportunities for us to build social bonds and deepen our relationships.”
Bipolar disorder causes extreme mood swings, which Braunstein has been developing ways to manage. “Thanks to a great treatment plan I’ve been stable for the past 12 years,” he says. “Therapy, medication, sleep and exercise are part of my regular routine.” Me2/ has also aided Braunstein in dealing with his mental illness. “My wife is a vital part of my team,” he says. “Music, of course, is everything to me.”
“People didn’t understand or want to put time into supporting him in the workplace. Now he’s created his own community,” says Whiddon. “It’s become this beautiful thing.”
Whiddon has also benefitted from the orchestra, having suffered from anxiety and depression. During her time studying the French Horn at Eastman School of Music in her 20s, Whiddon’s struggles with her mental health meant she had to give up on her career. “I had horrible panic attacks and after that I decided I wasn’t going to have a career as a performer,” says Whiddon. “I ended up selling my horn.”
As she watched the orchestra come to life, Whiddon was inspired to pick up the horn once again: “I was sitting watching rehearsals and I thought ‘I can help that horn section’. I have loved playing more than when I was younger.”
For musicians who have been forced out of their profession due to mental illness, Me2/ is a lifeline. French Horn player Nancy-Lee Mauger, 60, was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder in 2014 and felt misunderstood and rejected by her colleagues: “If it’s something wrong inside your head, they can’t see that and they don’t have time because someone can step in and take your place.”
It’s given me the chance to be comfortable in my own skin and tell myself ‘this is going to be okay’
Nancy-Lee Mauger
Mauger had given up on her career until she joined the orchestra in 2018, after meeting Whiddon at a horn choir event. “It turned out to be more than I could ever wish for,” she says. “It’s given me the chance to be comfortable in my own skin and tell myself ‘this is going to be okay’.” Mauger has since been invited back to play a few shows at her old job at the Reagle Music Theatre. “It’s a place to come and heal and then with the healing comes confidence,” she says.
Me2/ uses its platform to raise awareness about living with mental illness. “During our concerts our musicians speak briefly between selections about their lives with mental health,” says Whiddon. “You never see someone stand up and say ‘I’m Ronald Braunstein, I’m about to conduct Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony and I have bipolar.’ We don’t see those positive stories of people living with mental illness.”
Braunstein and Whiddon now live in Boston where their main orchestra is based, but they have other Me2/ orchestras in Vermont and Manchester, New Hampshire, as well as a flute choir and vocal choir in their hometown. Whiddon is particularly excited about the potential of the vocal choir: “It opens up our mission to a whole subset of people who don’t play an instrument.”
Both are very proud of what they have created. “Honestly, it’s just so much fun. It feels so good the work we do,” says Whiddon. Me2/ has opened the door to tackling mental health stigma in the classical music world. The hope now is that other orchestras will follow suit and help create a truly stigma-free industry.