Mayfair clubs lubricate women with free alcohol and free entry.
I cannot help but wonder as women and as a feminist are we degrading or empowering ourselves by getting free entry to elitist Mayfair clubs, alongside unlimited drinks, and access to a promoter’s table – also full of other girls? These club spaces lubricate females with free drinks and with this false narrative of being ‘VIPs’. Women are pretty much currency to London’s elitist clubs and are sexualised and commodified. All the entry requirements regarding our appearance are shaped to please and satisfy the desires of heterosexual men who are the one’s spending and keeping these clubs open.
My birthday was approaching and I was trying to organise a night out for me and my squad. I usually would not specify the gender of my friends, but it seems that I should make it clear that friends, indeed, are a mix of guys and girls. I decided to reach out to a promoter I was Instagram friends with, he reached out to me a few months prior, and no doubt my account caught his eye from my “clean profile pic”. Anyway, I explained to him that I wanted to party at Cirque Le Soir to celebrate my 22nd birthday. Whilst he was very eager to host my girls and I, he definitely was not keen on the idea of boys. He made it clear that if I wanted to “party with a mixed group Cirque Le Soir isn’t suitable Tia.” Disappointed that without paying an extortionate amount, I would not be able to celebrate my birthday with my nearest and dearest, I tried to explain that “they’re no trouble, just party boys.”
Despite making plans to go with just my girls; it just didn’t feel right to bring in another year around the universe without my boys; we ditched the idea.
Though half a year later we tried again. December 2022, my best friend Bella’s 23rd birthday, we had just finished our meal at Sticks at Sushi, London King’s Road, and after lots of sashimi and lychee martinis, we were ready to really get the night started. Despite there being a decent number of local bars and clubs in Chelsea, this night we wanted to go out, out.
I still had contact with this promoter for Mayfair and Central clubs so I dropped him a message. He was quick to reply, ensuring it was “all ladies, all wearing heels.” This time we were a group of all girls, but one of us was wearing flat boots, not heeled; knowing this didn’t fit the dress code policy, we decided to go with a cheeky white lie that Lola had sprained her ankle.
But it was his next message which made us realise we are worth way more than some free watered-down vodka mixed with orange juice.
The promoter explained that we needed to send over pictures and our Instagram accounts, claiming that it was for the “purpose of recognition” – but that is what IDs are for – clearly this was about our appearance and making sure that we look good enough to qualify for the guest list.
It then clicked that this Mayfair shit was not for us. We wanted to have a carelessly good night, without being commodified. Without being analysed on our surfacing. It felt awfully degrading and we would rather spend our money and be relaxed at our own table with our own friends, our own drinks.
Looking for some hot and sexy specialist parties in London; whether you are into strippers, BDSM, whips and chains, being dominated, or queer parties; Powder has created an alluring and exciting guide to some of the hottest nightlife London has to offer. We hope this directs you to the perfect venue for you, whatever your fetish or fantasy may be.
But first! Before Powder brings you in on the best kink clubs in London, we want to ensure you approach these spaces in a respectful and safe way.
We spoke to Sex Educator and Ambassador for The Cage. co Veronica Saad to get a better understanding of BDSM, and so we could make sure you guys are physically and mentally prepared before entering the world of BDSM. The cagé.co is a friendly, kink-positive BDSM community, bringing together like-minded people. The Cage. Co is a safe space offering blogs, chat rooms, and events all over the world.
Now let’s get educated, I asked Veronica Saad some questions; starting with the basics.
What is BDSM?
“The acronym stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism, and masochism.”
“I think it’s important to note that although BDSM can seem dark and mysterious at its heart, it is all about self-exploration and enjoyment, think of it as play for adults, a way for adults to dive into their fantasies, explore their depths and have fun.”
As a beginner; where would I begin?
“If you are not sure your interests, or how to be involved that’s fine, take your time and feel comfortable.”
“I recommend finding a community that can offer solid information and support. I work for the cage and it really is a great community of thousands of people from all over the world, you can chat with them, and ask questions. And remember that although we have loads of experienced members, many of them are going to be new to it all.”
What are BDSM rules?
“Just like rules in other areas of life, BDSM rules are anything that are expected of someone; rules to do something or rules to not do something. BDSM rules can be sexual but can also be simply practical. They can be for excitement or for general well-being. But most importantly they should be personal to your relationship and be agreed upon by all parties, add value to your dynamic and be enforced and regularly revisited.”
Can you give an example of BDSM rules?
“One example of BDSM rule might be prohibiting a submissive from drinking alcohol during the work week or expecting a submissive to kneel at the door when welcoming you home.”
How does the dominant come up with rules for BDSM:
“The best way is to treat it like a negotiating point with your submissive partner, sit down and have a discussion. Things like ‘what rules would you find hot? What rules do they have the time for? What rules will you be able to enforce?’ But I think the most important thing to consider is what rules are adding to the relationship instead of just becoming busy work.”
“Creating rules will take time and likely evolve as you go along.”
You mentioned that BDSM was for consenting adults only, could you share more on consent and how consent is ensured?
“Consent is integral to BDSM. The basic tenants of sex are the same in the world of kink as they are everywhere else. Your consent is required, you can revoke that consent at any time, and you cannot consent to something you are not fully aware of. Unless discussed, consent is never a given. Just because a dominant is a dominant does not mean they are automatically owed any special treatment.” All interactions even the most basic must be consented to ahead of time.”
What about group events?
“Consent is still required but it may work kind of differently. There are places you may go online or off where certain behaviour is expected. You consent to expected behaviour and protocols by attending or going to the event. But this does not override your ability to say no or leave the space. If any activity is not comfortable, consent can be revoked at any moment.”
Veronica explains that “when people start to enter the world of kink there is a lot of focus to the physical aspects of it: spanking, bondage, chastity, cages and more. Because of this, the mental aspects are something people develop later in their kink journey.”
What are some mental kinks in BDSM?
Mental bondage: “think of mental bondage like the exact bondage you know and love but without the need for any gear. Instead, mental bondage focuses on the bottom obeying a command to stay in place.”
Hypnosis: “In most portrayals a hypnosis professional talks a person into a hypnotic state where they may be more suggestible to ideas or better able to recall previous events. This type of activity can be done with an erotic or kink slant as well. Think orgasms, a deeper headspace, or a deeper immersion into roleplay roles.”
Roleplay: “Playing pretend can be an extremely erotic way to explore your scenes. Especially if you have always had kinks for different scenarios, like maybe prisoner/ guard, doctor/patient, props and gear make it easier to get immersed, but the role-play itself is entirely mental.”
Before we get into London Locations, here are some upcoming Cage. co events:
19/4/23 – ‘Cannabis, intimacy and kink’. This a stimulating and informative class on various ways to include your cannabis consumption with your sex and kink life!
20/4/23 – A dungeon dating event – introduction to impact play and restraints @ Centair Studios Hackney, 256 Hackney Road, London E2 7SJ.
22/4.23 – Unruly – a social for fat people in BDSM – unruly is a space for fat people involved or interested in the kink scene to come together and socialise @ The Hackney Den, Dalston N16B 8BX.
Now for the Locations.
THE BOX:
Entering The Box, brace yourself for the unruly and unknown.
You will never experience the same thing twice at The Box, they do different shows on different nights.
I spoke to four friends who had all experienced a night out at the box on different occasions. Firstly, I spoke to Farah Thorndycraft, (22, Coulsdon).
Farah tells Powder that the night she visited the box “this guy pulls out a dildo from his ass, and it was like covered in blood; it was so gross…then we had someone shaving their willy and their balls on stage like their pubes were going over everyone in the front row.” ”Then they took off their dressing gown and they had like massive tits.”. the show certainly didn’t stop there; Farah then witnessed this guy on stage “who had a load of umm like is dwarfs the right word to use, in gimp suits like attacking this guy, oh it was so weird.”
She ends by letting us know that she feels like her experience “was quite tame to what everyone else had experienced there.”
“Box is brazy” Max Morell, (23, Tooting) tells us; “I saw a lady put different colour paint in her … then squirt it out onto shirts and people were buying the t-shirts”
Finally, Seshi (23, Bristol) adds that his experience at The Box “was pretty mad”. “Basically, this trans person comes on stage and starts doing a strip tease around a toilet. Then they reached into the toilet and started rubbing fake shit on their tits. Then they grabbed a plunger and started fucking their ass with it lol. It was kinda fucked”
TORTURE GARDEN:
Before even bothering to attend a Torture Garden event, please leave any bad attitudes at home
Torture Garden is the biggest and best when it comes to fetish parties, hosting events monthly in London, and also in their franchises worldwide. Make sure you are dressed to impress; don’t be scared to show off some flesh and leather is a must. The underground dungeons are filled with dominatrixes; who are not afraid to give you a whipping if that’s what you’re into.
KLUB VERB OTEN:
Provider of contemporary sex-positive spaces.
“KLUB VERBOTEN launched in 2016 and is a provider of contemporary sex-positive spaces. Provider of contemporary sex-positive spaces. Our roots lie in the spatial, sonic, and visual exploration of BDSM + fetish practices,”
There are rules, safeguarding, and dress codes. Make sure to follow.
KILLING KITTENS
‘Liberating women worldwide, Killing Kittens is a shame-free community for dating, sex ed and so much more (Killing Kittens.com)
“A bold and empowering brand that spoke to sexually adventurous women, men and couples who were looking for more. Killing Kittens famous hedonistic events challenge society’s shameful stigmas around sex. – ‘(https://wearekk.com)
BIZARRE EVENTS – Walthamstow, London
‘Fetish.com’ claims bizarre events organise ‘London’s most extreme fetish sex parties, whether you’re a lover of latex, a fan of flogging or a wet and wild water sports enthusiast”; it seems like bizarre events might be the perfect hosts for you.
Stick Club
Embrace your naughty side, meet like-minded people with the same kinks as you, and party the night away in a safe and sexy place.
In the summer of 2022, I gave “Burning Man” a whole new meaning. Although, instead of soaking up the sun at the famed American festival, I found myself selling not-so-Smart Whip to a crowd of gas-heads in a Welsh forest – and nearly needing a skin graft for it. My name’s Tia, fabulous POWDER writer and your friendly neighbourhood burn dealer.
It was June 2022.
The academic year had just finished, the sweet smell of summer was in the air, and around twenty of my closest friends and I had escaped to South Wales to sesh the weekend away at Gottwood Festival, an electronic music festival advertised as a “mystical little party…hidden in the depths of the Welsh forest.”
Two days after we arrived, the energy was still ecstatic, the good vibes completely and utterly contagious, setting the tone for a summer 2022 that was going to be one for the books.
On our second to last night, a Saturday, we ran into a cheery Northerner selling Smart Whips – canisters full of nitrous oxide that are usually used to fill a balloon, which is then inhaled. We thought: ‘What are the chances of getting hold of laughing gas in the middle of the Welsh woods?’ so we, of course, bought as many as we could afford. At £80 a tank, the prices were double the standard in London – we’d been monopolised.
But my intoxicated self saw an opportunity to make my money back and, if I was lucky, net a profit. I knew if I was dumb enough to spend £160 on two canisters, other festival goers would be too, so I decided to sell three balloons for £20.
I laughed as the crowds gathered around, practically throwing cash in my face, desperate to get hold of a balloon.
My friends and I with our Smart Whip-filled balloons.
That afternoon, security circled the grassy auditoriums in front of the various stages, meaning I had to be discreet. I had the Smart Whip wedged down the left side of my leggings, with my North Face waterproof hiding it; a combination of ecstasy, alcohol and nitrous numbing my body, I was completely oblivious to the extreme freeze that was burning my hip. It was only three hours later – when the gas was all out – that I felt a huge lump and blazing pain on my left side.
I’m a tough-tittied party girl, so I wasn’t going to let what I thought was a small burn ruin my night. I dance the night and the pain away…
The next morning, I woke up in my tent, sweaty and in complete agony, to find my hip was awfully blistered and raw. In a sudden panic, I woke my best friend, passed out next to me, and she moved like lightning when she saw the severity of my hip. We ran straight to the paramedics’ tent.
A combination of ecstasy, alcohol and nitrous numbing my body, I was completely oblivious to the extreme freeze that was burning my hip.
Tia Brown
The paramedic was wary of popping the blisters in case of scarring, so he bandaged the burn instead. I was presented with two options: travel home to London alone a day early, or ride out the last night at the most magical festival I’d ever been to. Obviously, I chose the latter.
However, in the 24 hours that followed, my hip continued to flare and there was liquid oozing through the bandage. The smell was awful, and I couldn’t even shower or clean it due to the risk of infection. My weekend in Wales was ready to end and all I could think about was getting home to the advice of my medical-practitioner mum. My friend made sure I was driven home because there was no way I was getting on a packed train to London feeling – and smelling – the way I did.
Within seconds of my mum seeing the burn, we were off to A&E.
Not-so-Smart Whip.
It’s always a drag hanging out in waiting rooms; but that day felt extra draining. There’s no doubt it was the combination of a massive comedown and the anxiety that I might’ve permanently scarred my body selling not-so-fucking-Smart Whips. It was at that moment I vowed to never touch them again.
I was finally seen by an A&E nurse after hours of waiting and she took pictures of the burn to send to a specialist before treating it. It felt like my leg had been dipped in the River Styx.
The whole circumference of the burn had to be bladed off with a scalpel, leaving raw flesh where the burn used to be. This was to avoid any infection. Ironically, gas-and-air was provided, and many hours, tears and broken sleeps later, my burn was smothered in medicated Manuka honey and I was sent home.
Laying on my hospital bed in excruciating pain.
The following month was crucial to my healing. I didn’t smoke, I didn’t leave the house except when I was going to the hospital, I ordered every vitamin under the sun and I hibernated. Not exactly how I anticipated spending my first month of the summer.
The heatwave in London that year didn’t make it any easier either; I couldn’t swim nor sunbathe. I spent the time in my bedroom with my Argos fan on full blast binge-watching Desperate Housewives for the hundredth time.
I’ve never wished I could turn back time more. I hated the thought of laughing gas and I was cross with myself even more for being so silly to sell it. I’ve lived to see another day though: the burn healed magically in the weeks that came with hardly even a scar to show for it. It seems justice, for me, was kind.
All healed up; justice was kind to your girl.
What's the story behind your scariest scar? Drop us a DM (@pwdrzine) and you could be featured in our first-person series.
Pictured: handbag contents at Soul Lounge, Peckham.
It’s your girl T back again with another ‘What’s in her handbag?’ drop, and this time I hit up Soul Lounge in Clapham and Raffles in Chelsea to get you the goods.
Growing up, I was always told to never look in a lady’s handbag because it’s rude and you never know what you might find.
But that’s the point, no?
I wanted to see what random and unhinged things clubbers considered essentials for a Friday night out in London. So I hit the toilets of two different bars in south London, nosing my way into some lovely ladies’ bags, all for you guys.
Let’s take a trip, shall we?
Soul Lounge, Clapham High Street
Makeup Revolution Juicy Bomb Grapefruit X Revolution Satin Kiss Lipliner in Shade TGIF: “This combination is unmatched and should not be slept on. It makes your lips pop and it’s not sticky.”
Tobacco: “Spanish Marlboro Gold because the prices in the UK are not it!”
Baggy and Note: “Close cousins; one cannot exist in this world without the other.”
Apple AirPods: “To keep the vibes on the journey home.”
Vidal Zoom Strawberry Lollipop
Louis Vuitton X Takashi Murakami 2005 Cozy Coin Purse
Tampax Pearl Compax: “A tampon ‘cause knowing my luck I’ll be breaking my back on the dance floor and my period will decide to appear.”
Hash: “Skunk weed in London is full of chemicals.”
Marlboro Tobacco 30g: [Clearly cigarettes are going out of fashion, or we are just experiencing a cost-of-living crisis.]
Wrigley’s Extra Peppermint: “Because you’ll never know where your mouth might end up.”
House keys: “Even though I’m 99% sure I will not be going home tonight.”
Raffles, Chelsea
Trident: “Trident over Extra because I ain’t no a basic bitch.”
Oyster card
Nationwide card
Rizla Regular Green
ID
Elizabeth Arden 8-Hour Lip Treatment: “This lip balm is my f*g go-to, nothing keeps my lips moist like this. Though these days I can’t use it without thinking of Prince Harry’s todger.”
Too Faced Lip Injection Maximum Doll-Size Plumping Lip Gloss
Real Technique Mini Bronzer and Concealer Brush
Morphe Setting Powder: “To all the girls who need oil control, this is the one!”
John Frieda Frizz Ease: “To tame those fly-aways when things get untamed on the dancefloor.”
Nars Laguna Bronzer: “My go-to bronzer. I will always be loyal to this bronzer as long as she’s loyal to me.”
