Toilet attendants are an integral part of a night out in the UK who provide a splash of perfume and aspirin to clubgoers in a pinch, and, importantly, foster a safe space for anyone seeking refuge in the club bathroom.
It took me a few seconds to notice the penis paraphernalia, standing upright in a clear plastic cup, an assortment of pinks, nudes, oranges, and whites.
I would not say that they featured prominently on the toilet attendant’s table of goods, but they were not hidden either. Fitting, really, seeing as I was in the toilet of a nightclub where, frankly, everything goes.
Holding back a few giggles, I asked the toilet attendant: “What are those, Aunty?”
“Drinking straws,” she answered. Retailing for one quid each, I would say they were a steal. And they are fun and kitschy. Aunt Blessing is a hoot.
Welcome to the world of club bathroom workers, a regular fixture in clubs around the UK that sell a splash of deodorant and aftershave, refreshments and even flip-flops to clubgoers, and may clean as part of their job. In my experience, they may also perform emotional labour, providing a safe space for anyone seeking refuge in the club bathroom. Toilet attendants often work independently or as part of a venue’s staff. Considering that, as of April 2022, the national minimum wage is £9.50 and the living wage in London is set at £11.95, many of these workers subsist primarily on tips.
Aunt Blessing is a middle-aged Nigerian-born woman who now resides in London and works as a toilet attendant on the weekend at a buzzy nightclub in Brixton. I met her on a Friday night out in the city and we got to talk about her work, the means of taking care of her family and a taxing job. Statistics show that the cleaning industry in the UK employs more non-British workers than average, so I often encounter fellow Africans working in club bathrooms on my nights out.
“It’s very cold tonight but you people tried your best to come out,” she admonished with a laugh. “I know that I am looking for money, otherwise I would be in my duvet.” Inquiring about her hours, Aunt Blessing let on that her job is manageable “for now. I make enough money just to get by. Some days are better than others. Today was very quiet,” she said, gesturing to a collection plate with a few quid.
Aunt Blessing’s presence was warm and inviting, although I was under no illusions about the nature of our interaction as potentially disrupting her doing her job. Our conversation was interrupted several times by punters purchasing sweets and penis straws, punctuated with drunken politeness, before heading back to the dance floor. Nonetheless, Aunt Blessing let in that toilet attendants often go unseen or unacknowledged, and like many service workers, are treated like trash.
I make enough money just to get by. Some days are better than others.
Aunt Blessing
What’s more, extended working hours in a loud environment such as a nightclub come with significant health risks. A study published in the International Journal of Noise and Health found that the average daily noise exposure of participants working 20 hours a week in a club was 92 decibels. Over time, any exposure greater than 85 decibels for eight hours can lead to permanent hearing loss.
At the end of our chat, I asked Aunt Blessing what a night out for her looks like and I was regaled with tales of a youth well lived. “Make sure that you have fun, but you should always take care of yourself,” she shared. “There is a time for everything. Use your wisdom and keep your eyes open so that you will not fall victim.”
A young woman walked into the bathroom, making a beeline for the table of goods. “How much for this hair tie, Aunty?” The conversation begins again.
The Chronicles of a Loo Lady Inspired by my chat with Aunt Blessing, I spent just under an hour as a toilet attendant in a Manchester club. Here’s how it went… What do you wear to go and stand in a club bathroom? Your croppiest cropped top, of course. And a comfy pair of jeans, and sneakers. One Saturday night in Manchester, I decided to don my best dress and fill the shoes of a toilet attendant for 45 minutes. I took my bathroom attendant duties very seriously, down to a pretty pink purse stocked with mini bottle of perfume, hand lotion, baby wipes, Halls Soothers and Ibuprofen. I wasn’t sure what to expect - after all, I was going to be standing awkwardly in a private space trying to solicit conversation from strangers. But, as ever, the camaraderie in the women’s club bathroom is unparalleled. I set up shop next to the hand dryer adjacent to the bathroom door and this is what I witnessed. A cacophony of voices, two besties belting U Remind Me by Usher with harmonies included. “The vocals are coming out tonight,” someone shouts. A mum in front of the mirror fixing her makeup, talking over the phone about a frozen chicken in the fridge: “I’ll be home in a few hours,” she assures the babysitter/partner. “I spilt my drink all over my jeans,” I hear, and offer my baby wipes. A smile of appreciation. “Your bag is so cute by the way.” A conference about a cool top from Primark and a glance of approval at a cute outfit. The laughter of familiarity shared by strangers at the sink and the screeching of the hand dryer. I offer the two ladies drying their hands some lotion, knowingly. “Thank you so much!” one of the ladies says. “I always forget to bring my own, then I have to walk around with ashy hands.” A smile, a nod, a glance of approval from across the room.