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THE TWENTYSMTHG COUPLE FACING INFERTILITY 

When in 2021 a 21 – year – old Karina Melberg noticed odd symptoms of excessive sweating, sudden weight gain, irregular periods, and a horrible pain in the lower part of the stomach, she decided to make an appointment with a gynaecologist. The young woman was yet to know that the annoying symptoms are about to be diagnosed as PCOS. The worst part is that her life-changing diagnosis was not the only thing that she will have to worry about.

Photo by @karina_vaisnoraite

According to the NHS, polycystic ovary syndrome is a common condition that affects the functioning of a woman’s ovaries creating such issues as enlarged ovaries, irregular periods, and high levels of androgen (male hormones) in a woman’s body that can cause such problems as excessive hair growth.  

Although there are over 116 million women worldwide being affected by PCOS, according to the World Health Organization (WHO) estimation, Karina’s condition was especially challenging. Then the TWENTYSOMETHING woman visited her gynaecologist, they were shocked to find out that she had only had a very small amount of eggs left meaning that she has a very low chance of ever getting pregnant. It was definitely not something a 21 – year – old university student wanted to hear.  

‘I was very frustrated to see my doctor’s face when she found out what was wrong with me. She soon asked her colleague to come and double-check. They looked at me with a face full of disappointment as my gynaecologists told me: you only have 16 eggs left when you should have hundreds of thousands at your age. That’s when I knew that the future I planned for myself is about to change.’  

As the CNY Fertility says, even an average woman at 30 often has around 100,000-150,000 eggs in reserve. Unfortunately, for Karina who is only in her early twenties, the diagnosis means that she has to start worrying about whether she ever wants to have children and make that decision as soon as possible. Her partner of over four years Snorre explained that he will be there for her no matter what and her condition does not affect his love nor ruin their future together.   

‘It doesn’t bother me at all, not for myself that is. It’s not a dealbreaker for me to be unable to have children in the future. However, it pains me to see how it is taking a toll on her mentally.’

Photo by @karina_vaisnoraite

Luckily, this is not the end of the road for Karina as her gynaecologists offered her a few options that she can choose. 

‘Although my condition is quite extreme for my age. I do have a few options that I can consider in case I ever want to become a mother. At first, the doctors offered to completely get rid of my uterus which would help to ease the symptoms and pain of PCOS. It would mean that I could still freeze the eggs I have left and later in life have a surrogate as a chance of having my own biological children. I also have the option of taking certain medications and injections that would higher my potential of getting pregnant. But everything costs and I need to make that decision soon.’ 

The average cost of egg freezing can go up to £9000 the annual storage charge while other options such as IVF can be over £10,000  in the UK and has a risk of not being successful. For Karina, who lives in Norway the cost can go even higher which means that she might have to give up on her plans to ever get pregnant. 

‘As a student who isn’t fully financially stable at the moment, I’m having a hard time deciding what I should do. On one hand, in the very distant future, I do see myself becoming a mom and watching my baby growing up someday, learning how to walk, laugh, and go to school… On the other hand, I find it hard to think about having children now because as a TWENTYSOMETHING, I’m simply not ready to live that life yet. The more I think about the costs of everything and my current circumstances, the more I give up on the vision of being a mom someday.’

Photo by @karina_vaisnoraite

However, Karina’s partner reminds her that there are more than one ways to have a family someday and they will be okay.

‘There’s little I can do to support her, besides just being there for her and reminding her that this doesn’t affect the dynamic of our relationship for me because I’m here for her no matter what. I’ve always been open to the idea of adoption, and I have no need to make children myself, we’re not royals after all.’ (What a supportive partner!)

Karina is terrified, ‘I have to make that decision soon but I’m not ready…’

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