The thought of long-term relationships can be scary and confusing, but they don’t need to be. I’ve been with my partner for 6 years, and some of my friends ask me how I do it, so I’m going to give you a bit of a rundown on things that have helped us. It may not work for everyone and that’s okay, everyone has their own view on how relationships should be and it’s what suits you both.
Communication is key in a relationship. You need to listen to your partner when they raise concerns or are having a hard time, they need to feel supported and listened to otherwise, they’ll shut off from you which can create more problems. The same goes for you needing your partner to listen to you. It’s important to check in with them whether that be after a fight or just to see how they’re doing or to discuss things in the relationship that could need improving. It makes it easy when you see that person as your best friend, not just your partner. It’s nice to have that one person you can go to, to spill all the gossip to as well as love each other. It’s especially important to note that when you’re in a long-term relationship, you’re growing and learning new things together, patience is key here.
Keeping the spark alive is easy when you’re both invested in the relationship. We make time for one another whether that be movie nights, date nights or just simply taking time in the day to speak to one another about everything and anything that’s on our minds.
Give each other space. It can be hard to manage work, school, friends, and family when you’re in a relationship. Your partner should understand that some things may take up more of your time and you’ll need their support, this is especially important if you’re studying or going through a hard time with family and/or friends. Giving your partner their own personal space is essential, even if you want to be with them 24/7, they need some breathing room for themselves too.
Don’t listen to other people’s opinions. It’s great to get off your chest when speaking to a friend about issues with your partner, but sometimes they may give you some opinions that you don’t agree with. You know your partner better than anyone, so there will be disagreements and defensive behaviour when speaking to a friend. The same goes for family opinions, not everyone is going to be happy you’re with someone and they may say a thing or two, but at the end of the day, if you’re happy then that’s all that matters.
Taboo topics can be uncomfortable and weird to talk about. You must remember that your partner is there to listen to you and not judge what you have to say. Just be open with what you want to say and ask them how they feel about it, get on the same page.
The average time a relationship lasts in your 20s is about 4 years. 4 years is arguably a short amount of time when you think about it, but that’s when issues start to arise and when the relationship is really tested. People in their 20s are still trying to find themselves in society and their careers, so a relationship may not be a priority when you’re trying to figure yourself out and that’s okay! Society has a view on people who aren’t in a relationship by a certain time, but we’re in 2022 and priorities are very different now. Trauma from previous relationships whether that be romantic or family or friends can stop a person from opening up to another person romantically. It takes a lot.
Not only can social media influence relationships in society, but so can movies, and one franchise springs to mind…Disney. You grow up watching Disney movies (well, I did anyway) and you have a sense of what you want in a person and set expectations, that you soon realise aren’t actually real.
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