My first experience of a night out around people that drink was during Freshers week at Sussex Medical School, where I study Medicine. It was nerve-wracking at first as everyone at freshers has just left their home for the first time and wants to go crazy with drinking. Of course, some of my peers didn’t understand why I wasn’t drinking and tried pressuring me to have a few sips. However, despite the nerves, I really enjoyed myself and the more I went out, the more confident I became. Once you’ve had a good experience going out sober, you stick with it and look forward to the next time. It’s very important for me to go out somewhere with music, it’s how I compensate for the enjoyment aspect of drinking – I love to dance.
The main reason I don’t drink is for religious reasons. I am a Muslim and in Islam alcohol is forbidden, so I feel like if I was to drink, I would be betraying my religion. I grew up in Kuwait, which is a small country bordering Saudi Arabia and Iraq. It isn’t an environment with bars or pubs as alcohol is forbidden there.
Having always been sober, I think it’s been easier for me to say no to alcohol compared to people who quit drinking after having previously done it – friends expect it from me now. It can still be difficult though, there are always those negative feelings which come from being self-conscious about not fitting in. Because of these thoughts, it’s important to be transparent about your drinking habits with your friends. Once you get your inner circle to understand why you don’t drink, they will respect you more and won’t pressure you to partake, or at least they shouldn’t.
Currently, I go out pretty much every Friday and Saturday; like many students, I absolutely love the weekends. I mostly go to nightclubs like Revolution and Pryzm, I also love the atmosphere in Shisha lounges. I’ve actually surprised friends with how much fun I have sober, and some of them have the occasional sober night out themselves now, which is cool.
Everyone is more worried about themselves than they are about you
Anyone should feel like they are allowed to give up alcohol for any reason, whether it’s just for one night or permanently, but I do understand why people feel especially anxious about going to a club or bar sober. If everyone else is doing something that you aren’t, it’s normal to have a fear of missing out. Assuming that the people you are going out with are your friends, they should understand and help to make you feel more involved and comfortable. You may have a health condition, religious reasons, or previous problems with drinking. Whatever the case might be, if you explain it to your friends, they should understand. At first, it might be difficult to be sober in a drinking environment, so it helps to make sure you go somewhere you’ll enjoy – maybe it’s a karaoke bar or to see a certain type of music you love, somewhere that doesn’t have drinking at the forefront.
On nights out, my drink of choice as an alcohol alternative is Red Bull because you can mix it with other soft drinks, it tastes good and it keeps me energised. Of course, mocktails can be great too – passion fruit is a winner in anything. Or you can get creative. Back home, I used to always drink Barbican – a non-alcoholic malt drink which supposedly tastes a little like beer – it’s very tasty and I sometimes have it here in the UK too. I recommend just trying things out to see what works for you and keeps your energy up, so you aren’t always ending the night early.
I have had some bad experiences with dating sober and I think it has put people off me before. It’s not like the people I’ve dated have drank 24/7, but for some, it was important for them to have a partner to drink with. I’ve had dates that are completely shocked at the prospect of people who have never drank alcohol before. I think if you do share your reasons for this, that person should respect whether you want to drink or not. If they don’t respect your wishes, they’re not right for you. I’ve found that it can help to disclose your sobriety before meeting someone – but it is always your choice on whether you wish to share this or not.
My best advice for the sober-curious is to avoid putting too much pressure on yourselves. Whether making a change is for your mental or physical health, there are plenty of activities out there for everyone, so don’t be disheartened if you struggle to adjust at first. There are so many different places to visit and things to do with your friends that don’t involve drinking. I often go jogging and swimming with my friends, yet we still go to clubs and bars on the weekends. If you’re anxious about dancing sober for fear of feeling silly, just remember that everyone is more worried about themselves than they are about you – and there’s nothing wrong with dancing in a silly way anyway, I’ve been doing it for years.
Featured picture: Youssef Hassan