Avoiding the male G-spot can be a real bummer
Affectionately named P-spot, the male G-spot is not some mythical creation, it is very real, even if you didn’t learn about it in sex ed. Stimulating it can give you full, intense whole-body orgasms, as opposed to isolated and direct orgasms from traditional penetration or masturbation: so why are men so scared of it?
The day job of the prostate is vital for reproduction, working alongside the seminal glands to provide semen and make sure it is pressed into the urethra. Ok, science lesson over. The prostate moonlights for an entirely different cause, and like a mullet: it’s business at the front and party at the back. The male prostate is the size of a walnut and has a shedload of nerve endings. It is located two inches inside the rectum which, unless you’ve got fingers like ET, is only a regular knuckle’s length. All it needs are clean hands, short nails, and an absolute must: lube.
Fear of Enjoyment
Beren Maddison, 23, is a gay man who believes the G-spot is a universal worry for men of all sexualities, and that it “Usually requires preparation to avoid an unpleasant mess, either through managing your diet before you play or by douching.
“There’s also a stigma around men enjoying anal sex due to the restrictive nature of masculinity, and due to links with homosexuality,” he said. “A straight man may fear enjoying G-spot stimulation due to the connotations it brings, or the perceived compromise to his masculinity or sexuality.”
He said that a lack of education can restrict our awareness and understanding of our bodies, meaning we “May find it difficult to know how to prepare or how to approach it, as well as a lack of education, which can restrict our awareness or understanding of our bodies. Essentially, in a straight relationship, being penetrated is seen as a feminine act, which is sometimes viewed as degrading in society, due to misogyny.”
I never learned about it in sex ed, and it’s not something I’ve ever been taught is pleasurable
Johnny*, 25, a straight man, says the first time he tried it he was 16. “It wasn’t something that my girlfriend and I had planned,” he said, “I couldn’t complain; it felt nice.
“I think there’s definitely a stigma around it. As a straight guy, it is just your exit hole, so you can’t help thinking: ‘If I enjoy this am I gay?’ But it is two very different things, just because you’re straight doesn’t mean you can’t experiment with your G-spot and enjoy it.”
Many men would never entertain the prospect of putting anything in there. All guys have had the shared experience of homophobic language that is thrown around in secondary school. Being called “gay” in a derogatory way has been hardwired into every academic lexicon. Inbuilt homophobia can be a subconscious response, and can attribute to an absolute resistance for many to go anywhere near your bum.
Sex Ed Failure
Mark*, 23, is a straight man who says that although he has had a couple of friends recommend it, he has never tried it himself. “It’s been offered by partners in the past, but I’ve always taken it as a kind of joke,” he said.
“There’s also a hygiene worry about doing it for the first time, and the awkwardness that would follow if it went wrong.” Mark was also unaware that the male G-spot even existed until recently. “It’s not in the porn I watch, I never learned about it in sex ed, and it’s not something I’ve ever been taught is pleasurable,” he said.
There is a definite lack of sexual education on the subject, which begins in secondary school PSHE lessons. Especially considering it was only last year that LGTBQ+ sex education was incorporated into the national curriculum for the first time. The discussions around sex have been limited to its reproductive function which limits the understanding of sex as a pleasurable activity and offers no explanation of practices, kinks, or fetishes.
Another barrier may simply be nerves, which is natural when trying something new. It is always best to start gradually and work up to it, maybe trying some stuff on your own before you introduce a partner. But being open to reversing the roles could actually make sex better for both parties, as men would gain a perspective of what it’s like, and how to do it well. So don’t leave your G-spot behind in the name of masculinity, and don’t be afraid of a finger!
*names changed