We asked the Reddit community to recount the weirdest and most interesting things they have overheard at the smoking area. As ever with the Internet, the answers do not cease to amaze.
Step outside any club, and you’re hit by a barrage of sounds and smells: the thumping bass of the music, the stench of Marlboro Gold mixed with watermelon vape, and the random snippets of conversation from the people gathered around you.
In this socially-beguiling setting, if you listen closely, you might hear some of the weirdest, most interesting, and Kafka-esque words exchanged between those you find yourself stood out there with.
From cancel-worthy confessions to absurd arguments, it is a goldmine for the nosiest of us that love the gab. Reddit users revealed the craziest things they have overheard: get ready for a glimpse into the weird and wonderful world of the nightclub smoker’s area.
1. "We've had sex twice and he forgot my name the second time. But I swear he is a nice person... and he is really peng..." - From a girl trying so hard to justify her relations with a dick-head to her group of friends. 2. "I get to go to the bar on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays; you can take Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays, and then we'll alternate on Wednesdays." - A guy having a custody battle over the phone. 3. "It started off as pussy but now it's love." - A contemporary retelling of Jane Austen’s Lady Susan. 4. “Yeah, I’m depressed. Everybody is depressed-” *starts pointing like Oprah* “- you’re depressed, and you’re depressed, and you’re depressed, and…” - The best mental health campaign I have heard. 5. "I only rent my apartments to couples having extra-marital affairs because they never use the kitchen. And it's less overall wear and tear. There’s usually not anything above a size four of women's clothes in the wardrobe when I check." - Maybe Mao was right... 6. (In the thickest Bristolian accent they have ever heard): "No, she got fingered by Gomper 'coz she wanted a fag." 7. “Oi. Tits first. I ain't a slag!” - Apparently overheard while walking home, loudly declared by a pair of smokers down an alleyway. 8. "I don't know if this is the cocaine talking but aren't penguins just magical!" - Followed by 20 minutes of showing people pictures of penguins on their phone.
There it is, a compiled selection of the strangest and most hilarious things that Reddit users have overheard at a club smoking area.
Whether it is the vodka, the sounds, or the atmosphere, something about that space seems to bring out the innermost thoughts and confessions of club goers. It’s a reminder that even in the chaos, there’s always a chance for a moment of absurdity or to overhear the true business of the people around you.
So, the next time you are smoking outside the club, take a moment to eavesdrop – who knows what gems of conversation you might discover?
Have a burning overheard confession you'd like to share? Head on over to our Instagram (@pwdrzine) to spill. Anon pls.