On the verge of almost giving up on drag to overcoming her battles and embracing her scars. Meet the extravagant Morganaclair, a small-town boy from Brazil with dreams larger than life.
“Sometimes I stop to think about how much I have been through for my age and it seems unreal. First and foremost, my name is Sharon. I’m 20 years old. Yes, a baby, right? I’m a typical countryside boy from Espiríto Santo, Brazil, who grew up in a small city called São Roque do Canaã. I went through all the struggles and difficulties that most gay teenagers go through in school and society. I was bullied, beat up by girls and boys, was left out of football classes during PE, and when I did play, the boys would do everything possible to hurt me. I’ve had my head put inside the toilet, clothes ripped; really anything you can imagine has happened to me during school.
I didn’t have a father figure present for a significant time in my life, so I grew up with my mother and stepfather. I didn’t get along with my stepfather, so when my mother left for London, I went my own way too. I moved in with my friend Alexandre, who was the fuse to the start of my drag queen journey. The small town we lived in was extremely conservative; everyone was very narrow and closed-minded. We were the only openly gay boys in the city, and I think that Moraganaclair came to me as a refuge. For me to find myself as a person. As gay Sharon, people thought I’d have that gay boy attitude. The one where I’d repress myself and when you put yourself in a place that others put you in, you give them the power to do whatever they’d like. Whereas when I came out as a drag queen, it was written all over my face: “yes I am gay and I’m not ashamed of it,” then the oppressor feels repressed to do anything to you. When I started with Morganaclair, I thought, “Wow, this takes me out of that dark place that I feel people put me in and brings me back to who I am.”
It all started when I was 14 years old and Alexandre introduced me to RuPaul’s Drag Race, it was all new to me; I had never heard of drag, nor ever seen a king or queen. As we started watching the show together, something new awoke inside me. I’ve always loved makeup. I must’ve come out of the crib with a makeup brush and when I started watching RuPaul, I thought, “I like this, I think this is what I want to do.” So, I borrowed a wig from my grandmother, got some “bathroom makeup” and did a whole makeup look; I looked a mess, but I thought I was fabulous. I took a photo of myself and sent it to my friend saying, “Girl… I look beautiful, perfect, I am drag.”
Then came my drag’s name, and the process was long. Alexandre and I thought of so many names; Paloma, Tiffany, Princess, Patricia… but I was like, sis, these are not it. Then I remembered this cartoon that I used to watch as a kid called Castelo Ra-Tim-Bum, where the witch’s name was Morgana. She was fab. But we still needed more, something that would fit with Morgana. And there we were, one day, two gays walking around the mall looking at store names that would match, and we found Clair. Morganaclair it was. After the name, came the construction of my identity. I always try to portray the woman figure as closely as possible. I try to bring a more feminine and delicate woman and sometimes a mulherão, you know, that Brazilian woman, who’s all empowered.
Once that was all set, I started performing in school when I was 15. This was my time to shine. When the big day arrived, I looked ugly as hell but felt fantastic. It was incredible because I received a very unexpected reaction from people. After all, Sharon as a gay boy, he was rejected in school, no one respected him. Then people saw me in drag… I remember going down the stairs in my school building and when everyone saw me, they were like, “wooowww” and everyone started screaming. I really hadn’t expected this, and it gassed me up so much. I knew I needed to feel that again. I wanted to, and I would. After that, everyone talked about me; I was the centre of attention. That is why I say that Morganaclair brought me comfort; it was through her that people got to know me better.
Although drag was a gateway for me, I have also suffered a lot because of it. I’ve been mistaken as a transgender boy; on the streets, people would stop to ask me how much the program cost. I felt this lack of acceptance in relation to everything, employment, social inclusion, even my family wasn’t accepting of me, only my mother because the rest didn’t take me seriously; they thought that being gay was alright but drag was too much. But eventually I said fuck it, they weren’t the ones who raised me anyways.
Despite everything, I didn’t give up. This was primarily because of my mum. She was very supportive, both when I came out as gay and as a drag queen. I’ll never forget the moment when I came out. I was hysterically crying on my bed and my mum looked at me and said, “You will never stop being my son, not because of this or anything else, so don’t worry and go wash the dishes.” It was very gratifying because I wasn’t expecting this from her. I think that my persistence must stem from how tough she is.
Another key person in my journey was Alexandre; my mum was the key, and he was the lock. He was already openly gay when I met him in school, so I had him as a point of reference. We formed a bond, a friendship, we had a romance for some time, broke up, were enemies, lovers again, best friends and now brothers. He has helped me with everything. I used to watch how he’d live his life, how he’d behave, how he’d walk, and I just admired him so much. He was and continues to be a significant person in all aspects of my life. He was the first person I came out to, he was my drag mum, the one who put the wig on my head, gave me my name, his home for me to get ready… I have so much to thank him for.
In these five years, I did take a break from drag when I moved to the land of Pão de Queijo (cheese balls), Minas Gerais. My mental health wasn’t good; I had just gotten out of a relationship and started to get depressed. I even started asking myself whether drag was worth all the worries. It wasn’t until I moved to London two years ago that I got back into doing it. I believe that if I hadn’t moved here, I don’t think I would’ve ever gone back to doing drag. And it’s funny, I didn’t know anything about this place, nor the language or the people. Still, I noticed how differently people are treated here. Regardless of their religion, gender, ethnicity, there’s a lot more acceptance. So, I bought my first wig here, and I knew I had to go back to drag. This is my world, this is what I like to do, this is Sharon.
Now, I’m doing drag more as a hobby really, I don’t have performances as I did in Brazil. When I moved to London, my idea was to show the city my drag but due to the pandemic, I had a change in plans. I plan on doing a degree in design, or artistic makeup, but for now, I’m just a “bathroom drag” with her little stool, mirror and makeup. My main goal with drag though, would be to make a living out of it and become famous and recognised for my work. My ultimate dream is to have my TV show called ‘Good Morning with Morgana’. It can be for five minutes on SBT TV, it doesn’t matter, it would make me the happiest drag. Doing what, I don’t know, but I want my own show.
If you’re thinking about starting drag, I would tell you to never lose faith in yourself. You’re going to go through many things that will make you want to give up but if you’re faithful and confident in your work, then I believe you can go very far. It’s about determination and willpower. If you’re thinking about doing it, do it, it will be the best thing you’ll ever do. It’s a choice you make that can change your life and who you are entirely. It transformed me as Sharon, and I know it can have the same effect on you as well.”
