In the 60s, a surge of South-Asians migrated to the UK for a better life. This included people from Desi countries such as Pakistan, India and Bangladesh. According to Gov.uk, approximately 6.9% of the population of England and Wales belong to South-Asian ethnicities.
Although many families migrate to the UK for a better life, there are always other risks that come with moving. For example, racism, xenophobia, housing crises, claiming British citizenship and getting a job etc. Though these are obvious struggles that come with anyone immigrating to a different country, some seem to disregard the culture shock that many experience when moving and raising children in a Western society.
The cultural differences can be hard to balance out and integrate with. Being raised in a South-Asian household yet living in Western society can be a challenge. You want to stick to your roots, but you also want to fit in with your Caucasian friends. I spoke to some of my South-Asian friends about their experiences of living in the UK.
“I love living in London, but I can’t help but compare myself to white women. The beauty standard is hard because of subconscious colourism. I first experienced racism when I was in year 10. A mutual friend and I had become friends but also a bit more than that. Everything was going great until the topic of race got involved. He would tell me things like ‘you’re good looking for a Pakistani’, he would call me a ‘p*ki’ and would tell me he only wants to date white girls. We stopped being friends and around three years later he apologised to fix our broken friendship and I even started seeing him. I don’t know if it’s because I craved white male validation or if I just wanted him to think I am good enough.
“Since then, I still have it engraved into my brain that I will not be as beautiful as a white woman. Even if I was raised in Pakistan, it would still be the same. If anything, I think it’s worse in Pakistan when it comes to colourism. Salons have bleaching facials, everywhere sells bleaching face wash, young girls are told that fairness is beautiful, and you’ll have more of a chance of having a match when getting an arranged marriage if you have fair skin. Our culture is beautiful, but colourism is a tradition we need to change before it damages us further”. Said 20-year-old British-Pakistani student who was born and raised in South-London.
Colourism is very prominent in Desi cultures. According to PubMed Central, approximately 59% of women in Pakistan use skin-whitening creams for a fairer complexion. A common brand used in most households is Glow & Lovely, formerly known as Fair & Lovely. The brand faced backlash in 2020 after criticism of the product being associated with colourism and re-branded. These skin-whitening creams are known to use bleaching agents. Although Glow & Lovely have denied ever using bleach, this does not include bleaching agents. It is known to use inorganic mercury and has been banned in Norway.
Living in the city is arguably easier for people of colour due to the high levels of diversity, compared to those living in rural areas who often find difficulty in fitting in. Going to school in a predominantly white area can sometimes make you feel like the ‘other’ compared to your classmates.
“There feels like a massive disconnect between me and peers in some areas of life. One of the big things that gets to me is the grouping of the other South-Asians in my school. I was always referred to as the name of another brown classmate as it was clear how teachers would put people of colour in one box. I was also mocked for the pronunciation of things, or even when I referred to words in Urdu such as ‘mehndi’ being ‘henna’. I would be made fun of because I was pronouncing words with an ‘accent’ which was deemed as weird to my white peers. At one point I stopped speaking about my culture because no one seemed to listen.” 18 year-old British-Bangladeshi student from Ipswich, Suffolk.
It’s common for many young South-Asians to push their ethnicity aside to try and fit in. This includes not bringing in cultural food in packed lunches, not exploring the art of Bollywood in film and music and not wearing traditional clothing etc. Now that we have come to a point in society where representation is becoming an important aspect of life, we can argue that the lack of representation before is a key factor as to why so many young Desi’s felt a displacement when growing up.
More recently, we have taken a step forward in representing all people of colour, sexuality and gender in the arts and are trying to undo the damage of the stereotypes which have been indoctrinated into society. For example, when South-Asians were represented in television or film, they were often portrayed in negative ways. Famously, Apu in The Simpsons was a character who had an exaggerated comical accent performed by a white actor who followed the stereotype of owning a convenience store and having lots of kids.
However, we must recognise the progressive changes in inclusivity when it comes to representation. The Netflix show Bridgerton was admired for its authentic representation of Indian culture. The show’s second season tells the story of two sisters from India and a love interest from England. The Sharma Sisters were given the spotlight for the leading roles of the show with Desi culture being explored and celebrated. For example, it featured a classical rendition of the Bollywood classic Kabhi Khushi Khabe Gham during Edwina Sharma’s haldi ceremony.
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Marriage is a highly valued tradition in Desi communities. However, culture and religion become a blurred line when it comes to marriage. For centuries it has been the norm for South-Asians to get an arranged marriage as celibacy is prioritised in Islam and Hinduism – both religions holding monopoly in Desi countries. However, due to the change in tradition since being introduced to Western ideas of marriage, dating has changed the approach to marriage in Desi society and is becoming less frowned upon to keep up with changing times. However, with this being said, some young South-Asians being raised in a first-generation immigrant household still don’t have the opportunity date when their other peers do as their family still forbid it.
“I have been through a few romantic interests – mostly white men. It sucks because I know if I ever wanted to marry one of them, I could risk losing my family if I ruin our family honour. I have nothing against arranged marriage, I’d rather find love myself.”. 23-year-old British-Pakistani living in Brighton.
Optimistically, I think this generation of South-Asians are going to raise our children in a more progressive and positive way. With improved representation, more consideration and hopefully in a society where stereotypes are fading.